realizations.

realizations.

So I just got back from visiting my family. Being home reminded me of how much I miss my sister. It's nice talking to her about random stuff and poking at stuff we used to do. I also came to the realization that my sight reading (for more difficult pieces) is now awful.

I brought to the dinner table news of what's going on in school, my projects, and the excitement/anticipation of my internship. I also shared the story of how a friend of mine who is extremely academic (she will be graduating with a 4.0) and heavily involved in school activities, was having difficulty in being accepted to graduate schools for psychology. My dad was disinterested and unimpressed. Once again he went on about how it was ridiculous to study psychology in the first place and nothing would come out of that. For the most part, I wanted to address the difficulty of getting accepted for clinical psychology even for those who are graduating with such high merits, and relating that to acceptance into medical schools, but ultimately, he viewed them on different grounds.

The conversation then progressed to wasted time in college, but to be honest, I disagree. I've overcome previous mistakes (such as following into a major blindly), have majors that I truly have interest in, work in a research lab, have made wonderful friends, discovered talents and interests, expanded academically and in personal growth, and etc. Yet, I cannot sway his mindset. I cannot express that I have not lowered my standards. I cannot make my achievements comparable. I cannot make him understand.

He continued with how even my major has nothing to do with my "career" choice, to which I nearly scoffed. Very easily you can argue about the psychological effects sound as a whole impacts on the mind. Music can easily sway how one may perceive an event and has the ability to alter mood. Likewise, sound design can create a desired reaction or state of believability by playing with even the simplest of sounds. Horror movies, game shows, video games, lullabies, the desired response cannot be achievable psychologically without the intangible accompaniment of music/sound. I won't even bother furthering this discussion. . .

Ultimately, I came to a realization.

I was very composed and spoke quite bluntly to him and apologized.

"I'm sorry that you don't approve of my major . . . or more-so, both my majors and my minor. I disagree with the irrelevance or insignificance of my studies, achievements, and goals. Ultimately, at this point in time, your opinions mean nothing to me, and I have the support I need from others."

Such was the end of our conversation.

I sat in my car for quite some time. Watching the rain drizzling on my window, I noted the endless cycle before me. No matter how many droplets would fall, the window wipers erase without hesitation.

My heart was heavy, but at least I was fed.